i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Randomize
