Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize