i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Randomize