the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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