I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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