Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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