New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
