Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
