I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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