I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
