The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize