Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
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