My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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