chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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