My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
