She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
