Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize