Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
