Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well