Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  wrigley field is MILF paradise

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  (317): wrigley field is MILF paradise http://tfl.nu/g3u8
  Replies (6) Good night (1374) Bad night (509)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out

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  (306): Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out http://tfl.nu/kvs3
  Replies (5) Good night (732) Bad night (857)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.

  (352): View more from Florida

  WHAT?!

  (407): View more from Florida

  He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.

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  (407): So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch. (352): WHAT?! (407): He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking. http://tfl.nu/9qqv
  Replies (6) Good night (795) Bad night (2485)
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house

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  (302): Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house http://tfl.nu/fhfx
  Replies (17) Good night (4056) Bad night (1076)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.

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  (201): oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay. http://tfl.nu/lkny
  Replies (24) Good night (2278) Bad night (3533)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum

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  (734): Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum http://tfl.nu/virf
  Replies (4) Good night (1881) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (224): View more from Illinois

  At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk

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  (224): At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk http://tfl.nu/rjll
  Replies (3) Good night (1045) Bad night (718)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak. 

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  (206): There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.  http://tfl.nu/3ssu
  Replies (3) Good night (1711) Bad night (535)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.

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  (540): I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win. http://tfl.nu/n6kc
  Replies (12) Good night (1893) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.

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  (585): You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you. http://tfl.nu/gcz1
  Replies (4) Good night (1847) Bad night (550)
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  (940): View more from Texas

  Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.

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  (940): Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying. http://tfl.nu/q8jl
  Replies (9) Good night (471) Bad night (647)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)

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  (256): I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;) http://tfl.nu/t2s6
  Replies (1) Good night (1069) Bad night (358)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death

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  (919): All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death http://tfl.nu/2w0w
  Replies (4) Good night (367) Bad night (455)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.

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  (206): No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you. http://tfl.nu/9dg7
  Replies (2) Good night (1187) Bad night (307)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra

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  (425): Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra http://tfl.nu/b4si
  Replies (2) Good night (444) Bad night (286)

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