ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
hahahahaha turkey breast
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
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WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing