you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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