ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
