trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Randomize
