i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I look better un-naked...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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