I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
