Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
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he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
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I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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