Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
