yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize
