plz talk dirty to me
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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