I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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