They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
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