I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
