dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
