he puts the penis in happiness.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
