it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
