If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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