sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
