There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
he thought i was a dude.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
