Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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