He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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