I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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