i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
