So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
