My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
