it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
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Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
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Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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