They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
people are starting to question the shark bite story
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
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