I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
