Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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