LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
