taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
