frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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