I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
