is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
she peed on how many people?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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