Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
