I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
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