it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize