dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize