Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms