i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.